Rose and her parents had high hopes that Rose would be crowned the St. Olaf Butter Queen. Rose herself admits that for 16 years her "life revolved around butter." After acing the "evening gown competition" and the "butter quiz," , only for her butter churner to jam. She would have won the competition, had one of the finalists not partaken in some tampering.
"I haven't been this scared since 1952 when St. Olaf's most active volcano threatened to erupt. Well, luckily, there were some Druid priests who were in town for the opening of Stonehenge land. They said they could stop it if they could sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin. Well - and you're not going to believe this - it turns out they weren't druid priests at all. Just a bunch of Shriners looking for a good time!"
In another moment of stupidity, Rose volunteers to become a human sacrifice when St. Olaf's most active volcano threatens to erupt. Perhaps the stupidest part of the story is the fact that St.
Olaf is located in Minnesota. How does Minnesota have an active volcano? St. Olaf seems to be a magical place that neither follows the laws of society, neither the laws of physics.
"The hardest part for me was explaining to my Kirsten the difference between boys and girls. I knew the time had come, but I kept putting it off. Finally, I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns. I took the bull by the horns, turned him around, and showed her what makes a bull a bull.
That's how my mother taught me. It sure did [give me a false impression of what a man would look like]. "Can you imagine my surprise on my wedding night with Charlie? Boy, that bull would have been jealous!"
Despite Rose's sweet nature, it is consistently hinted at that she has a fiery side in bed. Rose does not like to share stories, but her naughty side far outranks Blanche's. The people of St. Olaf might like cheese and gerfurgle cake, but they also seem to like other wild activities.
